Oooooops!

Here's how I picture it all going down.

WhoooooWhhooo! Brmmp! Brmmp! Pull the RV over!

Lights are flashing, and the sunglassed police officer has his head out the window, yelling at me through the megaphone. "Pull the Godspeed over!"

Whooooo! Brmmp! Brmmp!

I see him in the rearview mirror, lights flashing, slowly edging me over to the side.

I have an infraction. I'm past the age of youthful beauty where a few years gets You off easy. For me, it's the truth. Plain and simple, all the nitty-gritty details.

I watch the sunglassed officer swagger towards My car, walking like he's just got off a horse, right arm near his holster.

And I don't blame him. Any crazed lunatic could be behind the wheel. I keep my hands on the wheel at "ten" and "two."

At the window, his soulless sunglasses look at me blankly. "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Yes, officer. I have an expired plate." Ooops! Never admit guilt. That's the first legal maneuver, and I blew it already. So, I do a quick recovery. "You see, officer, I just realized it was expired last night when I pulled over by the BLM office by the Wendy's. And...I had two choices. I could either drive up to Panguitch to get new tags and risk getting pulled over in all of those little towns along the way...." I take a deep breath. "Ooooor....I could risk going through Freedonia since my new job and campsite is only about 30 miles beyond."

He takes off his sunglasses. His pale blue eyes would be soulless, except for the red rims around his eyes. He's either overworked or a secret drinker. Maybe both.

"I'm so sorry. I've been working a lot and it must have slipped my..."

He puts up a hand to stop me. "Your license says you're from Es-ca-lant." He says it like a local.

I turn on the local vibe. "Yeah, like I said, I just realized it last night. I'm driving down to a summer job at the canyon. I stopped for gas and realized it was expired."

"You know the speed limit is 35 in Freedonia."

"Yes, I know it's 35. That's why I kept it under. You are on the ball with pulling people over through Freedonia."

"Well, we're also checking tags. Get to where you're going, and don't move it until it's tagged." He hands me back my license.

"Thank you, officer," I say. Then the tears come. No extra expense to pay a fine on top of renewing plates!

Of course...

This hasn't happened. Not yet, anyway.

So tonight, I have to think about what to do. From Kanab, do I drive all the way up to Panguitch to get proper tags, risking getting pulled over all the way there? Or....do I ride like a bandit through Freedonia, hoping not to get caught? After Freedonia is Jacob Lake. Once I'm there, I'm golden.